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Love is a bitch. You’re curious, anxious, nervous, scared, loved, happy, sad, disappointed, annoyed, pissed, happy, back to pissed then heartbroken.
You go through all of these emotions and more. After a breakup, your life could feel out of whack. You have to start over and remember what it feel like just being you. During my breakup with my ex, I was a wreck. I’d forgotten what it was like to be truly alone. I was so used to calling and texting him about my day. I was used to coming home to him and my dog. I was used to thinking about dinner for two. I was used to planning my weekends with him. I was used to his everything. When he left I didn’t know what to do. How do you make dinner for one? I wasn’t used to having weekends to myself.
I think the thing that got me the most was the silence. There were no clicks on a remote or gamer control. I didn’t hear his cackle throughout our apartment. It was silent. I hated coming home. I had my dog but that was it.
I isolated myself more than I already was. My mom was worried about me because I wasn’t leaving my apartment. It’s funny that I hated the silence but I couldn’t handle the sounds of other people. I’m sure if we were living in the same state, my mom would be over everyday. I didn’t have the energy to handle other people. I wanted to be left alone. I’m a big believer in feeling your feelings. This means that when you’re sad, be sad. When your happy, be happy. Allow yourself to go through the motions. Don’t let your negative thoughts stay for too long.
During my breakup I had many bad days but not all the days were bad. My sadness came in waves. On the bad days, I wallowed in if. I listened to heartbreak playlists on Spotify. I watched movies about heartbreak. There’s something comforting about reading, watching, or listening to someone going though similar situations. It made me feel not so lonely.
On my good days, I recognized that they were good. I was grateful to have days that weren’t full of self doubt and sadness. On these days I try to do everything to stay in that mode. On my drive to work, at work, on the way home, and while I’m cooking I listen to my favorite songs. I love listening to songs that make me dance. Rule 1: Listen to a ton of Lizzo, Beyoncé, Dua Lipa, Kelly Clarkson, and Ariana Grande. These women will remind you how amazing you are and how you don’t need another person to make you happy.
Rule 2: Read motivational books and listen to podcasts. Watch funny movies. Do everything you can to keep the momentum. I did this everyday and It drastically changed my mood. I felt like I got over my ex much quicker.
I got a new hobby. I wanted to find something, anything that would keep my mind off of my ex. I wanted to make my own blog forever. This was the perfect time. I spent weeks obsessing and researching everything I could about creating a blog. I was on Google and Pinterest everyday researching. One day I bit the bullet and bought my domain and host. There’s only so much research you can do. Subconsciously I was scared. What if I failed? What if no one reads it? I really thought about it and I realized it didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if no one reads it. I’m writing mainly for me. And even if only one person reads it, maybe they’ll relate and get something out of it. One is all I really need.
The next thing to do is update your wardrobe. You’re not doing it for the person who broke your heart. You’re doing it for you. Something about buying new clothes makes you feel like a new woman. And especially on my bad days I wear my sexiest outfit or outfit that makes me feel the most confident. I may feel like shit on the inside but I won’t look it on the outside.
The last thing I recommend doing is take a solo trip. It doesn’t have to be expensive. If you are able to go out of state, do it. If not, take the time to explore your city and do an activity that you always wanted to do. Take sometime to do something for you.
I want you to remember that even though someone may have broke your heart, they didn’t break you. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are worth loving. Don’t let another person convince you that you aren’t worth it. You are.