The Almost Relationship

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I was 18 when I fell in love for the first time. My first love broke my heart as most loves do. I barely remember the first couple of months after my heart got broken for the first time. I was in college, and it was a heavy rotation of going to class, drinking, smoking weed, and sleeping with guys I could care less about. At a party held at my best friend’s house, I met my Almost.

What is an Almost? It’s the relationship that never was. It’s when you meet someone and have extremely strong feelings for, but it never goes anywhere.

Our connection was almost immediate. It was weird because we are not each other’s type, and we could be any more different. And yet, we clicked. We spent many, many nights staying up late, cuddling, fooling around, and driving around town. We could barely keep our hands to ourselves. It was a problem. We played this game where no one discussed their feelings, and it kept going to months, which turned to years.

We met at the most perfect time in each other’s lives. He had broken up with his girlfriend. And I had recently dumped mine. I definitely wasn’t looking for another man to break to my heart. And he had enough drama from women. It was a great dynamic until it wasn’t. You can already guess it. I ended up wanting more. It was bad. I wanted to be consumed by this person. I wanted to be the person who thought about me from the moment he woke up until he went to sleep. But that’s not the type of relationship we had. Rendevouz in the day and night. Our friends knew how we were together, and it was almost exactly like being in a relationship without the actual relationship part. Eventually, we ended up in a relationship… with other people.  We break up with our significant others and run right back to each other. For years.  Every time I think I’m done with the hamster wheel, I end up right back on. Eventually, I had to get off.

Breaking Up With The Almost

It’s so strange. Breaking up with the Almost feels just as crushing as breaking up with your significant other. Sometimes it can feel even more painful. But why? We want this person so fucking bad. SO FUCKING BAD.  I guess it’s because you know the feelings are there, but no one makes the effort to make a change. If we’re being honest, the almost relationships are toxic as fuck. They are full of promises, late-night thoughts, dreams, and bullshit.

Why do we stay? It feels incredible to feel wanted. Even though we don’t get all of our needs met but most of them. We get intimacy, the butterflies, the someone to talk to. The only thing we don’t get is the actual relationship.

So How Exactly Do You Get Over Someone You Never Officially Dated?

Want to know the secret? There is no secret. You have to force yourself to move on. Let go of what could have been and move on. If it was meant to be, it will. If not, it’s okay. You get why you met the person in the first place. You learn the lessons that you’re supposed to learn and move on. You deserve more than the Almost. You deserve the whole thing, the love, the relationship, the everything. Get off the hamster wheel, baby.

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